The Made for More documentary on Amazon dropped a bombshell on me recently: nearly every woman hates the way she looks.
The documentary featured a weekend conference for women focused on personal growth. At the conference the speaker Rachel Hollis asked women to fill out a questionnaire about some hard truths about their lives.
The questionnaires were then passed around the room so you didn’t know whose questionnaire you were holding. When the statements were read aloud, you stood up for your unknown sister who identified with that statement, as a show of support.
I’ve been a victim of sexual abuse. A handful of women stand up.
I am a product of a broken home. Several women stand up.
I am a recovering addict. Many women stand up.
I hate the way I look. Every woman in the room stands up.
It’s safe to say the body image of the modern woman is in the toilet when that many women hate the way they look. Hate.
I know that feeling well and wrestled with it for roughly 20 years.
So why do we feel like we never measure up?
I say it’s because we are measuring in the first place and measuring the wrong things.
My struggle with body image centered around measurements. I made these mistakes over and over. Maybe you can relate.
These are the 6 common mistakes women make when trying to measure up:
- We measure our worth by the number on the scale.
- We measure our value by the size of our clothes.
- We measure our identity by the reflection in the mirror.
- We measure our lovableness by our partner.
- We measure our status by comparing ourselves to other women.
- We try to measure up to culture’s impossible standard of beauty, but we never can.
We are using scales and tape and tools of the world to measure ourselves and, in doing so, we are setting ourselves up for failure.
Measuring your value in the world is going to leave you hating the way you look, and you’re in good company. So many of us struggle with body image. It’s important to remember we’re not alone in the struggle. Just think of all those women who stood up for the statement I hate the way I look.
But we are made for more than hating the way we look. And I sure don’t want to live like that.
So I stopped (cold turkey!) doing my first-thing-in-the-morning weigh ins on the bathroom scale. I made that measuring mistake long enough.
I promised God I would not measure myself by the number on the scale any more. And I haven’t since.
Releasing these worldy measurements and my inevitable accompanying self-judgment has been a total leap of faith. Challenging. Exhilirating. Transformational.
I feel like I’ve jumped off the high dive of MEASURE and cannonball-ed into the refreshing pool of peace and freedom below.
The water is just fine ladies, jump on in.