Self-Acceptance or Self-Improvement? •

Who says it’s either self-acceptance or self-improvement? Instead of making this impossible choice, what if you could embrace both? Life can open up beautifully when you can see yourself as both God’s masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.

I think I may have gotten some bad advice. Maybe your fell for it too.

The advice said If you don’t like something you have two choices: you can either accept what you don’t like or change what you don’t like.

Sounds simple, right? All you have to do is choose: accept or change.

Normally I am a fan of clear, concise advice, but not this time. I don’t want you to waste any energy on this because it will short-change you. I know from experience.

I hope sharing this will save you some frustration and help you avoid the struggle of making this impossible decision.

So, how do you choose between self acceptance and self improvement?

You don’t! It’s not one or the other. It’s both together.

But before I realized this, I chose self-improvement.

The Wrong Choice

At that time, I did not like my body. Not even a little bit. My body was heavier than I wanted it to be and didn’t look the way I thought it should look. So I decided to work to change it.

An onslaught of diet programs, exercise and shakes ensued. For years I was a card-carrying member of the “self-improvement” party, pushing the “do more, be better, take it to the next level” agenda.

But after years of chasing change I hit a wall.

Despite all that self-improvement work I was putting in, I still didn’t like my body.

So I started wondering about the other choice… if changing my body wasn’t doing the trick, maybe I should learn to accept it?

The thought of moving over to the “self-acceptance” party after all that time made me feel so confused and conflicted. Had I been wrong this whole time? Would switching sides make me a hypocrite?

In this season of questioning, I felt God calling me to get off the diet-crazy-train and go towards Him, but it was so hard to move.

I was stuck in a place where I needed to learn how to accept myself where I was, but I also wanted to continue to grow and improve. I felt like I needed both, and I didn’t know how to choose one or the other.

Good News: You Don’t Have to Choose!

It turns out these two things are not mutually exclusive.

I think my jaw actually hit the floor when I first read the quote “You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.”

you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously, you don't have to choose between self-acceptance or self-improvement

The book “She’s Still There” by Chrystal Evans Hurst introduced me to this radical idea and unpacked it for me in a powerful way.

This gave me permission and inspiration to throw that deadly OR out the window and take the life-giving AND instead.

It’s not self-acceptance OR self-improvement. It’s both at the same time!

The old advice that forces you to choose did not serve me well and I’m guessing it doesn’t serve you well either.

Self acceptance vs. self improvement is a false dichotomy. It puts acceptance in one corner of the ring and change in the other corner saying only one can win. But in this fight, everybody loses.

Instead of pitting these two supposed enemies against each other, let’s see if they can actually become friends.

Let’s look at some misconceptions you may have (I sure had them!) about acceptance and change that may have led you to believe acceptance and change were mutually exclusive (they are not!)

Things to consider about acceptance and self-acceptance:

Acceptance is really about non-resistance. Stop fighting yourself. Stop opposing yourself. Make peace.
Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you think you’re perfect.
Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you are giving up and throwing in the towel.
Accepting yourself isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. It doesn’t mean you have to love every single thing 100%… but maybe you could? What would that feel like?

I remind myself: God created me, I am wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), I am God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).

This reminder helps me to see self-acceptance in a new light.

I see now that by not accepting myself as God made me, I am basically telling God that He is wrong and what He made is not good, when He says that it is. I see now this is rejecting God. And I certainly don’t want to do that.

Instead, I want to believe God knows what He’s doing now and He knew what he was doing when He made me, exactly as I am.

With that in mind, it’s so much easier for me to see the good that’s already here and accept what is.

I am God's masterpiece. I am a work in progress. Bible verses for self-acceptance and self love. You don't have to choose between self-acceptance or self-improvement

Things to consider about change and self-improvement:

Self-improvement is not hating and shaming yourself into change.
You don’t need to change to be good enough.
You don’t want to change from a place of fear.

Healthy self-improvement comes from a place of love and wanting to grow and evolve as a person.

That was not the place I was in when I was dieting. All my efforts to change were coming from an unhealthy place of fear, where I believed if I didn’t lose weight and change my body then I would never be happy or lovable.

A healthy approach to change is not about wanting to fix yourself, but wanting to learn, mature and become more like Jesus.

From a place of love, you see the good God has in store for you and you rise to meet it. You aren’t done and God is not done with you yet (Phillipians 1:6).

It was such a relief and a turning point for me to embrace being BOTH a Masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.

This idea helps me to love myself today and still push for a better me for tomorrow. Only when you accept yourself as you are, as God made you to be, do you have the capacity to change.

Acceptance AND change really do go together.

I’ve found that I can hold both of those concepts, one in each open hand, and lift them up to God. When I see myself as God’s creation, wonderfully made in His image, I can accept myself as a good creation and trust that God knows knows what He’s doing.

This revelation meant so much to me that I’ve made it my motto!

I am BOTH a masterpiece and a work *ahem* Ginger In Progress simultaneously.